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Never mind.
I just found out that this has existed for like two years:
http://thesecondsingle.blogspot.com/
So never mind.
“Don’t Talk Just Kiss”, Right Said Fred
Hit: “I’m Too Sexy”
Right Said Fred scored several top ten singles in the U.K., but here in the States, they only charted twice: “I’m Too Sexy” hit #1, and its follow-up, “Don’t Talk Just Kiss”, languished at #76 despite hitting #3 overseas.
“Don’t Talk Just Kiss” is as ridiculous as its name implies, and makes you wonder whether “I’m Too Sexy”, seemingly a satirical look at a narcissistic model, was sincere after all. The song and video retain all the over-the-top bravado, cheesy disco beats, and outdated fashion of “I’m Too Sexy”, but without the (intentional) humor, and with a whole lot more creepiness. Watching a shirtless Richard Fairbrass sing “let your tongue fool around” will make the act of kissing seem more repulsive than it has since your last cootie shot.
What this song lacks in subtlety, it more than makes up for in making me want to wear a vest and gold chains without a shirt and go to the worst disco in the world.
“Pop Goes The World”, Men Without Hats
Hit: “The Safety Dance”
I always feel bad for one-hit wonders who actually had a second hit that no one remembers. “The Safety Dance” shows up on ’80s one-hit wonder lists all the time, even though “Pop Goes The World” hit #20 in the U.S. and as high as #1 in several other countries. That said, Men Without Hats really don’t need this song tainting their legacy.
I don’t understand how “Pop Goes The World” was a hit, or how it wasn’t in a Care Bears movie. It’s catchy, I’ll give it that, but it sounds like a third-grade music class made it. The music could pass for the demo on a Casio, and the lyrics… good god, the lyrics. You don’t even have time to process “one two three and four is five, everybody here is a friend of mine” before getting slammed in the face with “every time I wonder where the world went wrong, end up lying on my face going ringy dingy ding dong”. There is not a non-ridiculous line in this entire song.
I can’t really make fun of the video, because anyone who’s seen the “Safety Dance” video should know better.
